Thursday, February 16, 2012

How to Get Your Ex Back in 5 Quick Steps

Nearly everyone has been through a breakup. Not many people are able to handle a break up very well, know what to do, or are even able to function well for some time after.

The best thing to do is to stay away from your ex. Until your emotions have leveled off, it is a bad idea to involve yourself with your ex or anyone or anything closely tied to them. Also be sure you do not indulge too much at the bar; you may feel down, wanting to forget, try to have some fun out with friends for the night. Just remember not to get too carried away. Excessive, habitual drinking will likely only add more problems and make it more difficult to work through the existing turmoil in your head.

Putting distance between you and your ex for a while gives you both some breathing room. A chance to focus on yourselves, what matters, what you want out of life, and reflect on your past relationship.

Relationships end for many different reasons. Sometimes one person wants to push the relationship to the next level, and it may be too soon for the other person. Other times someone cheats. Often when people get into a relationship at a young age, they find that they are not really all that compatible after all - or they have simply grown and evolved in different directions.

The best relationships are where two people are in sync with one another, supportive of each other, understanding each others' views, and mostly free of excess friction. Stresses of life can make you do or say things that you might not have otherwise done or said. Something as simple as changing jobs, careers, lifestyle, or your social circle can greatly alter the dynamics of your relationship.

When you look back on your past relationship, what do you think caused your breakup? You should have a pretty good idea, especially if you were invested enough in your relationship to want to get your ex back now.

One of the causes for a breakup is a lack of connection, trust and respect. These go hand-in-hand with communication. When any of these areas suffer, your relationship suffers. Did anything happen in your relationship to weaken the trust or reduce communication between the two of you?

5 Quick Steps to Get Your Ex Back

1) Allow yourself to grieve. Going through a breakup is a loss, and loss causes grief. Grieving is a process. If you have not embraced and dealt with your feelings, you are a ticking time bomb around your ex.

2) Evaluate your relationship. Are the two of you a good couple? Are you heading in the same direction in life?

3) Identify where things went wrong in your relationship. Are there any reasonable changes that could be made?

4) Meet up with your ex to break the ice. Nothing too serious, just a friendly cup of coffee and some small talk.

5) See if your ex gives you any signs that they might want to get back together.

Of course the process is somewhat more complicated, but that is the general idea. When you are nearing the end of the reconciliation process, you may find that you are not really interested in getting back together with your ex after all. That is OK - you have closure, and you are better equipped to deal with future relationships.


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